30 Before 30

My birthday was this weekend and it was super fun! We went out Saturday night to my favorite restaurant in town with friends (including my friend Maggie who has the same birthday - how cool is that?!?). Then on Sunday Ross, Lucas and I hung out around the house and had a nice relaxing day. Ross made me my favorite cake - Funfetti with Rainbow Chip icing (this is probably every American '80's baby's favorite). Ahhhh the yummy goodness of childhood in a box :)

The birthday girls

And now for my 30 before 30 list...I got this idea from some dear friends :) and would love to accomplish these things in the next 2 years!

1. Run a 5K
2. Make my own ravioli
3. Have one of my dogs become a canine good citizen
4. Learn to sew
5. Plant a garden
6. Make applesauce
7. Join and be active in a Bible study
8. Learn to play a lifelong instrument
9. Take ballroom dance classes with Ross
10. Write a children's book
11. Bake a cookie cake
12. Have a zoo membership (or aquarium)
13. Make and drink a pomegranate martini
14. Make another baby
15. Visit Erin and Ryan in NY for a fun NY weekend
16. Make Lucas a Christmas stocking
17. Read a Shakespearean play I have not yet read
18. Find something I love at a garage sale and buy it
19. Have beautiful Christmas presents that match
20. Dress up for Halloween
21. Host a dinner party
22. Plant bulb flowers
23. Volunteer somewhere
24. Learn all the words to Amazing Grace by heart
25. Go to a concert of a band or singer I really like
26. Join (or start) a mommy/child group
27. Take a cooking class
28. Go to a play or musical
29. Join a book club that is successful
30. Become good at crocheting washcloths

Nightmares of mothers...

I had my first real mom nightmare last night and now I am nervous to go to bed tonight. I dreamt I was out shopping and had Lucas with me and the next thing I know he is gone. I was running around the mall screaming and crying and looking for him to no avail. My heart was racing when I awoke and I had to go make sure he was still in his crib. Oh my gosh...it was terrible.

Who's toy is this?

Dog toy or Luke's toy? Lucas got this super funny toy called a zhu zhu pet for Christmas from Uncle Clint and hasn't quite gotten to the point that he understands it...but when he does he might have to battle the dogs for it...I think I will hide it until Lucas can enjoy it :)

A very Gille weekend

Ok...let's start off with the breakfast of Champions - coffee, chocolate chip cookie, and grape nuts. Hmmmm... realistically the ideal breakfast would add another cookie and omit the grape nuts but I was trying to be good :) I recently started following a blog called My Baking Addiction - aka MBA (http://www.mybakingaddiction.com/) that features all kinds of delicious baked goods and fabulous photos. I chose a few cookie recipes and asked Ross which he would like me to make (since I haven't made any desserts since Christmas). He wanted to challenge me to try the Big Chocolate Chip Cookies because I have been unable to make CCC since we married (they always turned out super flat and crispy). Trust me; I do not know what I have been doing wrong because I have tried all different things with the same result. It wasn't due to the gas oven or later the electric oven, the stand mixer or hand mixer or my muscles, the butter or margarine or crisco, the processed or unprocessed flour, etc, etc. Anyway, I tried the recipe from MBA and the results were perfect :) So perfect that when I was making my cup of morning coffee I couldn't resist and ate one without thinking (Oh my gosh this is the first thing I am eating today?!?!!?). So, I punished myself accordingly with grape nuts. ha! Note to self - Lucas was completely enamored with the smiley face coffee cup from Janean in Germany so I must not put hot liquids in it when he might reach for it in the future... Check out my super cute breakfast company...

I decided this weekend I was going to try and put Lucas on an eating schedule of sorts because he suddenly became very crabby about eating and it was leaking into other parts of life. Ross's cousin mentioned that they had to put their son on a schedule around 4 months of age for this very reason and it worked like a charm. I started by tracking his eating patterns last week and then devised a plan and tried it this weekend. I didn't want it to be too rigid of a schedule or too maleable that it wasn't a schedule (and always up for revision if he decides to sleep through the night :) before the 6 month mark). The goal was to feed him avery 3.5 hours, give or take 30 minutes and to add a "dream feed" around 10pm. This made for a very confusing weekend for all of us (I should have realized he wouldn't magically adapt to the schedule). I guess I am a little over sensitive to his eating because of his weight gain/hospitalization scare. I just don't want to deprive him or force feed him which would both set him up for potential food failures (not knowing when he is hungry or failure to thrive) in the future. He did sleep frm 8pm until 4:40 am with a dream feed around 10 pm last night. We will see how the week goes and I will keep you updated.

Another addition to the confusion this weekend is Ross's decision that it is time Lucas learned to put himself to sleep in his crib. According to the books you have to be careful that your baby learns how to self-soothe and if you wait too long they might become dependent on having your arms or a rocking motion to fall asleep. Lucas seems to be able to do this better at night when he is already beginning to drift off to la-la land. However, during the day I have been inclined to let him nap where he likes (he will often sleep for 1-2 hours in the boppy on the couch, in his rock and play sleeper in our room, in his boppy in his crib vs 20 min in his crib). I know part of my issue is my continuing fear that he will slip into failure to thrive mode. This is why having Ross and I both will hopefully help Lucas learn what he needs to learn when he needs to learn it.

For all those mothers and fathers out there...what is your philosophy on schedules for eating and sleeping? Is there an appropriate age when a schedule for one or the other is necessary? How about napping - is there a certain age when nap location trumps nap length? There are so many different approaches it is hard to wrap your head around it all. On the one hand, I do not want him to be crabby and out of sorts because he needs a schedule. While on the other hand, I don't want him to be so married to a schedule that he is unable to cope with sudden changes.

Lucas has really started reaching for things!

Two doggies getting their much needed mommy time

A BLT (minus the T) on freshly baked homemade wheat bread...Archie didn't get this loaf!

Feet!

Lucas has found his feet....I'm not sure he totally gets that they belong to him or that they are always there but he does seem to suddenly have one in his hand every now and then. Some of his pj's have decorations on the feet (like lions) and I think this catches his attention :)
We have a zillion pictures of Lucas in the tub...but this is the first post-tub hooded towel shot. Look at how cute he is :)

Enjoying some tummy time in the crib - just hanging out with his lion and bear

Mystery...The Case of the Missing Loaf

Beautiful loaf of freshly baked Sally Lunn bread

Empty cutting board...

Guilty party #1

Guilty party #2 (looking pretty full and going into a full belly food coma)

4 months

Lucas is 4 months old and had his checkup last week...the Dr. is happy with his growth and our discussion about his developmental achievements but not happy with his bloodwork. Next month we will be going to Duke to see a pediatric gastroenterologist (say that 10 times fast, ha!) to figure out why his liver enzymes are lingering in the high range. Time for some more medical mystery detective work :/

Here are his stats:

Height: 25 inches - 72%

Weight: 13lb. 7oz. - 28%

Head Circumference: 41.5cm - 51%

I have a book that helps new parents with developmental questions month by month and I subscribe to a weekly email that does basically the same thing and I have noticed both of these are beginning to focus on one thing - infant sleeping. In addition to these sources, countless people bave begun asking me questions about Luke's sleeping (what happens at night, naps, patterns, location, training, etc.). I guess 4 months is the time when moms are supposed to recognize/begin a sleep pattern OR babies are supposed to settle into a pattern of their own. I was concerned that maybe I was missing something, so after Christmas we began tracking his days to see if he actully had a pattern...turns out he follows a 3-4.5 hour pattern of eating, playing, sleeping (with no playing at night) unless I have errands to run and then everything is thrown off. He does not sleep through the night, his naps are variable in length, and I don't let him cry himself to sleep. This is Luke's "pattern".

At his Dr.'s appointment I asked about sleeping and napping to see what was normal and it turns out that when it comes to sleeping there really isn't a normal. At this age some babies can sleep 13 hours through the night while others wake up every 3 hours to eat. Some babies have distinct nap times while others are variable. Some babies respond well to sleep training while others do not (I guess it is easier to train the night time sleeping than it is naps). Luke's pediatrician recommended following his lead until at least 6 months of age for night time sleeping because babies wake up at night for 2 reasons: 1. habit or 2. low glucose levels. Since Luke has had abnormal bloodwork, we are going to err on the side of caution and feed him when he wakes up at night. Even though this means less sleep for me, I am happier with this choice because it is more in line with what needs to happen for Erikson's stages of psychosocial development (which I believe to be true). According to this theory, infants are attempting to master their sense of trust or mistrust from ages 0-2. Hopefully Luke will gain a sense of trust by having his parents respond when he calls out for help. Oh, being a parent can be so difficult!

Snow day

Watching Mom make Snow day doughnuts

Playing ball

8 inches of snow!

Coastal Carolina was blasted with a quick snow storm that left us with 8 inches of snow and 2 snow days to enjoy together. Our dogs absoutely LOVE playing in the snow and rarely get the opportunity...so we spent some time outside rolling around in the back yard and throwing this ginormous ball around for them while Lucas napped. Eventually Lizzie managed to pop the ball but even before she accomplished that she was running around with it in her mouth. I seriously do not know how she picked it up because it is 2 times the size of her head! Archie enjoyed chasing Lizzie until his hair got all stopped up with snow.

A Gille family tradition for snow days is to make snow day doughnuts! Ross's family has been making these for years (my recipe card says it's from Nana which means we are at least the third generation to make them). I still need to work on my timing to make sure the center is cooked through...practice makes perfect! Hopefully I can master this recipe before Lucas is old enough to eat them :)

Cooking

Powder Sugar time...

Enjoy!

High Chair Time

Lucas got a high chair for Christmas from Nonni and Bompa. It is ridiculous how many high chair options are out there...wood vs. plastic, convertable vs. classic, attaches to a chair vs. stand alone, with a tray vs. without a tray vs. a dishwashable tray, etc. each with their own set of benefits. In the end, I decided to go with a traditional wooden high chair with a plastic (removable, dishwasher safe) tray...I guess there are some things I am a sucker for the iconic style.

One benefit of having a high chair is that it is forcing us to start having family sit down meals at the table instead of standing at the counter or sitting in front of the TV. I mistakenly thought this would happen after we had a baby but it turns out that baby needed a chair first! This is a step in the right direction :) I won't review the high chair until I have more experience using it and see how it endures the test of time. After all, Lucas just sits in it right now and watches us eat or sportscenter with his daddy. Seriously...this morning for brunch he was looking at the TV and smiling at the bright football colors. In other news, I recently learned how to properly fold a fitted sheet from a dear lady at a bridal shower. She used to work at Bergdorf Goodman (I think) back in the day and is an expert sheet folder. Check out this fitted sheet fold job...

Can you believe this is a fitted sheet?!?!?!

Check out Archie's groom job. We have his hair groomed at a salon that is inside a larger pet store by Dario. When we went to pick him up last night he wasn't quite ready so we got to watch. Pretty much every patron in the store walked by, stopped, and stared at Archie getting his hair cut. It was hilarious! I guess you don't see many ginormous apricot poodles.

Product Review: Kindle

Ross surprised me with a Kindle for Christmas this year and it is wonderful. In fact, I love it so much I thought I would go ahead and put it out there that breastfeeding moms who like to read need a Kindle or similar digital reader. It is nearly impossible to read a traditional book while breastfeeding because you don't always have both hands to hold the book or turn pages. Also, you may (will) lose your place when you put the book down to switch sides (if you do both sides at each feeding). The Kindle allows you to read without losing your place and using just one hand or no hands if need be! Another bonus is that the Kindle allows you to adjust the font size which is helpful when you may be reading in different light, smaller font during brighter daytime reading and larger font during dimmer evening reading. Fabulous! Thank you baby!

Look at Lucas's belly in that picture! He is so stinkin' cute :)

New Years Resolutions

Ryan and Lucas

Erin and me sporting some Bump it action :)

Ryan and Erin

This year we had a low key New Years celebration with our dear friends Ryan and Erin. They came to visit and we went out for a nice dinner downtown and then came home and brought in the new year in our pj's with some games, bubbly, and the ball dropping on the television. It has been a long time since we have had the chance to spend quality time with this couple because we live so far apart and Erin has been in a Ph.D. program followed by a residency that (obviously) required a LOT of time. I have to say that I am so happy to know them! I do not want to invade their privacy with the tiny details behind the fact that they are the inspiration of my first new years resolution...

1. To be more aware of my actions

I know - this is a serious resolution and covers a lot of ground, but I just can't continue living my life unaware. Instead of resolving to diet or work out more (let's be honest, these resolutions never come true) I want to be more aware of what I am doing to my body. Am I treating it right by eating properly and being physically active? Am I providing my mind with enough mental stimulation? Am I taking the necessary steps that will ensure a long and healthy life? Instead of resolving to save more or spend less (this seems nearly impossible to do in this increasingly paperless society), I want to be more aware of my family's financial situation. Where is the money going? Am I spending money on frivolous things? Are we successfully planning for our future? How will my decisions to consume today affect my family tomorrow? Instead of resolving to be a better mother, wife, friend, driver, etc., I want to be more aware of my impact on those around me. Am I in such a hurry driving that I cut others off? Am I saying something that is hurtful without realizing it until it is too late? Sometimes the way you phrase something can come across entirely wrong or you may discuss your good fortune before learning of another's trial. I guess what I am saying is, I hope to be more aware of my actions in order to become a better person to myself, my family, my friends, and even perfect strangers.

2. To be more present

There is nothing like the way having a baby can put your life into perspective. Let me try to explain...at several points in my life I have been too focused on the past or the future which has caused me to miss the present. I think my history of depression is partly to blame for this. There, I said it...it is out there. I have a history of depression. I recently came to terms with this fact and sought the help of the medical professionals placed in my life to help me out of my dark places. Society does not look favorably on depression - matters of the brain are scary and hard to understand. But my doctor helped me come to terms with it by explaining that it is nothing to be ashamed of - it isn't any different than someone who has allergies needing to take medication to get through their day. I learned that I had been living life like I was a passive observer watching someone else go through the motions, that I would "erase" whole portions of my memory when a friend or boyfriend broke my heart, or that I was constantly planning for the future so that I wouldn't have to live in the present. Finding out I was pregnant and having Lucas in my life has changed everything. Suddenly I am living each day from moment to moment and I LOVE it :) I feel so blessed and I want to resolve to continue down this path of living in the present and expand it to the other facets of my life...after all, I have an amazing husband and an adorable little boy to enjoy this life with :)